“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

 Lao Tzu

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The journey begins… Making the decision to leave my job has been a very long process. I would like to tell you that I just heard it in my heart one day and took that leap of faith but that would be far from the truth.

I have to confess that I knew a long time ago, before my career even started, that I never wanted to cut hair. That’s the little whisper I’ve talked about… 16 years later here we are.  I do not look back and think that the last 16 years have been a waste, not even close.  It has been a wonderful stepping stone to get me to where I am today.

I would not be who I am or where I am with out it.  I have made so many tremendous relationships there, and have grown because of those relationships. It has allowed me to provide for myself quite well and I have no regrets for ever having it as a career.

I have stayed there this long for 2 reasons.  Fear and security. Fear that if I left I wouldn’t be able to find a better job and security because it is all I have ever known.  Yet, what was the payoff for those things?  It made me tired.

Not tired like I did didn’t get enough sleep, tired like I don’t want to do this anymore. Tired like I’m losing myself and I haven’t even giving myself the opportunity to find myself!  I was just existing in my career, not living.  Counting the hours till the work week was over so I could hide in the time away.

Two years ago I was separated from my ex-husband.  At the time of my separation I swore I would pay off my debt, sell my big house for a tiny apartment, have less so I could LIVE more and sleep peacefully knowing I had money put away for a rainy day.

That worked for about 1.5 years before the whisper came again… So 6 months ago I started chipping back at my hours.  I figured if I could get it down to just 2 work days and kill myself in those 2 days, I could enjoy myself on the other 5 days. Some would say, “Wasn’t that enough?”  I will tell you, it was not.

I don’t believe that is the way things are supposed to be.  That work should be some drudgery that we have to get through so we can enjoy ourselves later or on the weekends.  I believe there are plenty of people who feel the same way. They might not be in a career they don’t like, but it might be a relationship or an addiction. Something that they are chained to by fear of loss, or bound to by security.

We need to break these chains.  How will we ever know what’s on the other side if we don’t try.  If we just bunker down and stay safe, we will never know what life has in store for us.

So I will be your guinea pig, for lack of a better word.  I have put myself in a good position financially so I could make this leap.  I have scaled down my bills and adjusted my lifestyle so I could take some time to find myself and really know what I want to do with myself.

I am taking the next six months to write, meditate and coach crossfit.  Funny how I always seem to leave crossfit on the sidelines. That is my other job, but it doesn’t feel like one at all.  That is how all jobs should be.

“The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step” by Lao Tzu is the quote I am going to live by for these next six months.  When those six months are up I will reevaluate what is next for me, but for now I am going to be gentle with my thoughts and courageous with my heart.

Stay tuned… write back soon, Love Annie