We define ourselves not by what happens to us but rather how we deal with what happens.
The only thing we can control in life is who we are being and how we react. Control these two things and we will be better prepared to deal with life and our suffering will be less.
If someone causes us pain or if we endure a loss so great, we will suffer. Yet, nothing will feel as painful as replaying that pain, a thousands times over in our own minds.
I learned one of my greatest lessons from a monk about four years ago. He told me that our greatest suffering is from our non-acceptance of what is so.
We can not change what is so. What has happened, has happened. What is lost, is lost and what has been wronged, can not be made right. When we fight this, we suffer.
Let us accept what is so and let go of our disappointments.
I’m not saying we should forget about them. I’m saying we should learn from them. If we can’t learn from them, let us help others to learn, so they won’t have to suffer. Simply by sharing our story and showing them, they too can heal. By helping to heal others, we will learn to heal ourselves.
The power of the human spirit is tremendous!
We can become either the victims of our circumstances, telling our stories of woe or we can become the victors, telling our stories of triumph!
We all have stories but it is in the telling of our stories that makes the greatest difference. Are we telling our stories to inspire or to look for pity?
We are here to inspire the world!
Not get lost in its shadows! We are here to teach each other all the lessons we have learned. The world needs to hear that it is possible to get up once we’ve fallen… so we can continue to get up.
It is in this way, that we will help each other up and learn to have compassion for one another.
Let us not drag ourselves through any more unwanted pain, by refusing to let go of our sufferings.
Of course there will be time to mourn.
To mourn our losses, our disappointments, our pain and our sufferings. We should mourn them. Cry, sleep and hide away … but we will not make home there. We can stay as long as it is needed but we must not get lost there.
When we emerge we will ask ourselves, “What has this painful experience taught me?”
Who am I going to be, now that I have overcome this obstacle? What will I teach others? How will I take that pain and triumph? Not out of revenge but out of love. Love for ourselves.
For we can not wipe out hate with hate. We can not heal pain by causing more pain.
We can only continue to live and learn. Letting our pain soften us, so we can have compassion for others who are in pain. Not allowing it to harden us, making us unable to feel pain or anything at all.
Let us use our painful experiences to heal others, understanding that by healing others, in time we will heal ourselves. Knowing that every painful experiences we overcome will make us a stronger, better version of ourselves.
May everything that causes us pain toughen our skin and soften our hearts xox
Write back soon, love Annie.
